So, let's start out by me saying that I used to adore this movie. I first watched it in eighth grade and, being at that very vulnerably awkward frump-girl phase, I was swept away by it. I bought the movie not long afterwards and convinced my friends that they just HAD to see it.

Well, a couple years passed without me watching it. At all. Which, you know, happens. We all do it. I think. Anyway, so I watched it again yesterday, expecting to be swept off my feet as per usual.

Only that didn't happen.

I realized almost at once why it didn't do so fantastic at the box office; because, in all honesty, it wasn't that great. The dialogue was either much too modern sounding or, if it was period, it was stiff and awkward. I felt embarrassed for the actors, because in all truthfulness, I think a middle schooler might have written the script. And really, I'm all for trying to appeal to today's teens and all that, and it is true that the actors seemed more comfortable when modern-sounding dialogue would slip out, but it was a little disappointing.

The plot is another issue I have with the film. First of all, nowhere in the movie do we see any mention whatsoever of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table in Camelot. If this is a non-singing version of Wagner's opera, it still does not follow the plot well enough. I remember researching Tristan and Isolde after I saw the movie and being shocked to realize that Tristram and Isolde were actually involved with Arthurian legend. What was the *point*, really, of misleading the audience?

This is not to mention some wtf moments in the movie. The characters, at times, do things with absolutely no prior warning and no real reason for their actions. Sometimes you can't tell their real motives, unless they are Irish or involved with the Irish. The "good guys" tend to do utterly random things that make no real sense except to help along a muddled plot.

And now we come to the characters themselves. The only characters who carried any real constancy were the bad guys, so to speak. We know from the beginning that Wictred is not to be trusted, so it's no real surprise when he joins up with the Irish. Donnchadh's decision to help Wictred is a little surprising, considering that even the audience has a strong feeling that most of Wictred's plans are flops, but it is overall accepted. Melot's vacillation can be exasperating; he's best buds with Tristan, yet he betrays him for a title (which should admittedly be his) and to help the Irish, which is one of those wtf moments. His near-death redemption was only to be expected and not very touching.

With Marke, I was torn between amusement and annoyance. The man was so completely oblivious to everything around him. Let's face it: Cornwall should not have been left in his charge. He had no idea throughout the entire movie that his nephew, whom he had treated rather badly, was teaming up with Mr. Nasty-Pants Wictred and the Irish king to overthrow him. Also, he was "fulfilled" after marrying the near-catatonic Isolde and was oblivious that her many disappearances could be, you know, suspicious.

Tristan was such a whiny emo that I really couldn't feel sorry when he died. I just CAN'T. He was childish, and Marke hit the nail on the head (for once) when he said that Tristan felt he did not have enough. Yes, I understand, it was true love. But it was as if his alleged "loyalty" to Marke became nonexistent once a pretty blonde came into the picture. He turns away from her in her distraught state and then gets very snarly when she won't blatantly moon over him anymore. He then gets very demanding in their affair and suddenly tells her it must end. In short, he cannot make up his mind and whines whenever Isolde doesn't change moods as quickly as he does.

Isolde is obviously supposed to be a feminist, but that was a flub. Her anger at being married off made me sigh and roll my eyes. It's all well and good for Disney to use that (which they have done--repeatedly), but let's face it: That is what happened in the 6th century. Women were usually married off, and princesses almost never had a choice. Her running away is highly childish; where does she plan to go, exactly? I mean, her father, you know, only rules the whole KINGDOM. She is a bit rude, methinks, to be so unresponsinve to Marke; he IS her husband, after all, and although she no doubt discovered his ignorance early on, she should at least *try* not to fuel any suspicions he might have. Overall, she was very whiny and childish, which, I suppose, is why she and Tristan made such a good Twilight-esque couple.

The only character I can truly say I liked was Bragnae. She provided comic relief that was not anachronistic (unlike her many acquaintances) and was the only person who seemed to have a brain. Isolde was a silly little git for not listening to Bragnae. Bragnae knew precisely what would happen if her charge did this or that, and who listened? No one. The poor woman suffered the Cassandra Syndrome. So cheers to Bragnae.

All in all, it's not a terribly wonderful movie. If you're in the mood for a sappy romance, go right ahead. If you can't find anything better to watch, go for it. But if you're looking for something EPIC, I wouldn't advise it.