Well, a couple years passed without me watching it. At all. Which, you know, happens. We all do it. I think. Anyway, so I watched it again yesterday, expecting to be swept off my feet as per usual.
Only that didn't happen.
I realized almost at once why it didn't do so fantastic at the box office; because, in all honesty, it wasn't that great. The dialogue was either much too modern sounding or, if it was period, it was stiff and awkward. I felt embarrassed for the actors, because in all truthfulness, I think a middle schooler might have written the script. And really, I'm all for trying to appeal to today's teens and all that, and it is true that the actors seemed more comfortable when modern-sounding dialogue would slip out, but it was a little disappointing.
The plot is another issue I have with the film. First of all, nowhere in the movie do we see any mention whatsoever of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table in Camelot. If this is a non-singing version of Wagner's opera, it still does not follow the plot well enough. I remember researching Tristan and Isolde after I saw the movie and being shocked to realize that Tristram and Isolde were actually involved with Arthurian legend. What was the *point*, really, of misleading the audience?
This is not to mention some wtf moments in the movie. The characters, at times, do things with absolutely no prior warning and no real reason for their actions. Sometimes you can't tell their real motives, unless they are Irish or involved with the Irish. The "good guys" tend to do utterly random things that make no real sense except to help along a muddled plot.
And now we come to the characters themselves. The only characters who carried any real constancy were the bad guys, so to speak. We know from the beginning that Wictred is not to be trusted, so it's no real surprise when he joins up with the Irish. Donnchadh's decision to help Wictred is a little surprising, considering that even the audience has a strong feeling that most of Wictred's plans are flops, but it is overall accepted. Melot's vacillation can be exasperating; he's best buds with Tristan, yet he betrays him for a title (which should admittedly be his) and to help the Irish, which is one of those wtf moments. His near-death redemption was only to be expected and not very touching.
With Marke, I was torn between amusement and annoyance. The man was so completely oblivious to everything around him. Let's face it: Cornwall should not have been left in his charge. He had no idea throughout the entire movie that his nephew, whom he had treated rather badly, was teaming up with Mr. Nasty-Pants Wictred and the Irish king to overthrow him. Also, he was "fulfilled" after marrying the near-catatonic Isolde and was oblivious that her many disappearances could be, you know, suspicious.
Tristan was such a whiny emo that I really couldn't feel sorry when he died. I just CAN'T. He was childish, and Marke hit the nail on the head (for once) when he said that Tristan felt he did not have enough. Yes, I understand, it was true love. But it was as if his alleged "loyalty" to Marke became nonexistent once a pretty blonde came into the picture. He turns away from her in her distraught state and then gets very snarly when she won't blatantly moon over him anymore. He then gets very demanding in their affair and suddenly tells her it must end. In short, he cannot make up his mind and whines whenever Isolde doesn't change moods as quickly as he does.
Isolde is obviously supposed to be a feminist, but that was a flub. Her anger at being married off made me sigh and roll my eyes. It's all well and good for Disney to use that (which they have done--repeatedly), but let's face it: That is what happened in the 6th century. Women were usually married off, and princesses almost never had a choice. Her running away is highly childish; where does she plan to go, exactly? I mean, her father, you know, only rules the whole KINGDOM. She is a bit rude, methinks, to be so unresponsinve to Marke; he IS her husband, after all, and although she no doubt discovered his ignorance early on, she should at least *try* not to fuel any suspicions he might have. Overall, she was very whiny and childish, which, I suppose, is why she and Tristan made such a good Twilight-esque couple.
The only character I can truly say I liked was Bragnae. She provided comic relief that was not anachronistic (unlike her many acquaintances) and was the only person who seemed to have a brain. Isolde was a silly little git for not listening to Bragnae. Bragnae knew precisely what would happen if her charge did this or that, and who listened? No one. The poor woman suffered the Cassandra Syndrome. So cheers to Bragnae.
All in all, it's not a terribly wonderful movie. If you're in the mood for a sappy romance, go right ahead. If you can't find anything better to watch, go for it. But if you're looking for something EPIC, I wouldn't advise it.
- Mood:
blah
I rant about this often, and I finally decided to put it up on my LJ in the hopes that someone would see it and help make fanfiction.net a better place.
Despite the old saying of, "Don't judge a book by its cover," most people tend to judge appearances anyway. Which is why your title and summary are extremely important when posting a fic. Small errors can turn a lot of people off, so it's very unreasonable to whine about a lack of reviews when there's something you can do besides shouting at your readers.
Titles are not as big a problem as summaries, but they are worth mentioning anyway. In titles, the first word of the title and nouns and verbs should be capitalized while small words (i.e. as, the, a, was) should not. Remember your helping verbs. Another thing that should be addressed is the usage of numbers in titles. "Queen of My Heart: Part One" looks a lot more professional than "Queen of my heart part 1." Don't believe me? Look at any book with a title that follows the aforementioned example.
One of my biggest issues with titles is spelling and grammar. Spellcheck is there for a reason. Don't make excuses about "I didn't know how to spell it" when you know perfectly well you have a way of checking it. People will think you're stupid and careless for making such an error and will most likely not read it. Remember: The better it looks, the more readers you're likely to have.
Finally, most authors have trouble with titles; they almost always seem to sound stupid. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! Unless it is completely irrelevant to the fic, it's fine.
Now, onto summaries. Much of the above goes for summaries as well: Proper spelling, grammar and capitalization should be observed, numbers should be spelled out, etc. Don't apologize for the summary; everyone always hates their summaries and it's a rare talent to write a perfect summary.
Please, please don't ask for reviews in the summary. It's annoying. It implies that you only care about reviews, even if that's not the case. Those little "R&R" symbols are extremely annoying as well. That being said, please don't say "No flames" in your summary. That's what makes flamers flame. It makes me want to flame, too, when I see that someone is so insecure that they have to put that into the summary.
Basically, the summary should not be written to anyone. Few people like seeing, "Please review!" "NO FLAMES!" "The summary sucks, but it's way better, I promise!" "Summary inside." "Just read it and find out."
Thus concludes this entry.
No, I am not a fan of Edward Cullen. At all. Twilight should not count as a novel. This is my view and if you don't like it, you won't like what else I have to say.
Edward Cullen, from what I understand, is a sparkly vampire who has an unhealthy obsession with a blatant Mary-Sue and, being over a hundred years old, is very possessive. He is also quite stupid. Perhaps someone can explain to me why this is "sexy?" Let's break this down, shall we?
Sparkly: That doesn't make a man attractive to me. It makes him appear homosexual, or at least metrosexual. Homosexuals obviously are not interested in women. That really makes them less attractive to me. Metrosexuals are fantastic, but I don't know of many who "sparkle." I liked sparkles when I was six, but even then I didn't like them on my men.
Vampire: Oh, yes, who wouldn't want a man who turns you into a damned, soulless creature? Vampires are seductive, yes, but they aren't mortal. I have never known a vampire who fell in love, but then again, Bella IS a Mary-Sue. That excuses everything.
Unhealthy Obsession with a Mary-Sue: Let's pretend for a moment that Bella is not a Sue. Difficult, I know, but let's try. The fact that he watches her when she sleeps is extremely unnerving. They hardly know each other and already he wants her? I don't care about her "special" blood; that doesn't give him the right to stalk her. This is generally frowned upon by bitchy girls like Bella.
Possessive: This is what I have the most issue with. Meyer is teaching young teen girls everywhere that it's "sexy" for a guy to freak out whenever you don't worship him. He orders Bella around and is generally very annoying. And Bella's such a bitch that you'd think she'd stand up for herself, but nooooo; Edward Cullen is a different matter entirely. My young cousin finds him attractive. That is just not right. This is a borderline masochistic relationship; Breaking Dawn sex scene, anyone? Bella even subjects herself to harm just to hear her loser boyfriend's voice. That's just not right. She is now a weakling, a bitch, a Mary-Sue and an even bigger idiot than before.
Quite Stupid: Well, think about it; anyone who falls for Bella is stupid. Out of all the girls in the world, he chooses HER. He tells her to avoid him and then orders her to see him soon. She's dumb and complains all the time and hates everyone, but he LOVES her?! I don't think so. Let's not forget his "vegetarianism." Um, no. That's not how vampires work. They don't choose to become vampires. Give them a break, Meyer.
Thus concludes my current rant. More will most likely be up later.
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| Petite Mademoiselle Young Madame Villeneuve in the blossom of her youth. | Courtship Not quite sure how their story went, but I think this happened somewhere along the lines. |
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| Mademoiselle Mademoiselle as a dazzling young lady. | Reading Mademoiselle in a moment of peace. |
 |  |
| Fair Ladies of France Mademoiselle and her confidante discussing the "incorrigible" Monsieur Villeneuve. | Madame Villeneuve Our girlish young mademoiselle is now the stately wife of Monsieur Villeneuve. |
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| Violette The oldest Villeneuve daughter. Yes, the dress is Victorian, but it's not *too* off. | Pauline The youngest Villeneuve daughter in the latest of French fashions. |
- Mood: bored
This is a half-rant, half-rhetorical question, and I promise to try and keep down the rantiness.
Like most of my peers (though not all), I caved in and got a Facebook. I think I mentioned that earlier. Anyway, it was all fun at first when I would find people I know or they would find me and my friend list steadily grew. Then some people I hadn't seen in awhile sent Friend Requests and I thought, "Okay, sure; why not?" Then some people I wasn't exactly friends with but had classes with sent Friend Requests. Again, I shrugged and accepted. But then some people I know only from passing them in the hallways started sending them.
I accepted them because I am a passive person. Usually. I didn't want to be mean and ignore it; that was just snotty. But I finally received a Friend Request that made me gape at the incredulity of the human race.
There is a girl whose name I only know because of the Eighth Grade Awards Ceremony. I remember because on that day while I was entering and she was leaving the bathroom, I accidentally bumped her and said, "Excuse me." She sent me a dirty glare but said nothing. The only time she has ever spoken to me was a few months prior when we were in a crowded hallway and I accidentally stepped on the heel of her Rainbow (I seem quite accident-prone, really). She whirled around, regardless of the hold-up she was causing, and snarled (yes, snarled) in my face, "Don't step on my SHOES!" Her friend looked embarrassed but said nothing as they continued.
Now, I ask you: What in Aslan's name was she thinking? Surely she wouldn't remember that incident; I know for a fact that she is snobby to just about everyone and I am unlikeyl to stand out. So it's not as if she was trying to make amends for her behavior. But seriously: She doesn't even know me. I have undergone a HUGE transformation since we last "talked;" I am finally emerging from my frump-girl stage and actually care what I look like before I let the whole world see me (I looked like a hobo in eighth grade). A lot of people don't recognize me from even last year. So it's not like she just remembers my face but can't place it.
Is it merely because we have one or two friends in common on Facebook? If so, that's pathetic. I'm blonde and blue-eyed, but that doesn't make me a Nazi. Friending people you don't know is the way to get raped. For all she knows, I could be a pedophile. I'm NOT, by all means, but how on earth is she to know that?
This isn't the only case; it's just the one that irked me the most. A girl who begged for my study guide last year and trash-talked me on the same day sent me a friend request. A girl who made it clear that I wasn't "hot" enough for her crowd did the same.
I know that I took the risk by venturing onto the internet and getting a Facebook. But honestly: What the heck are people thinking? OJ Simpson's face is familiar to me; that doesn't mean I'm going to friend him.
And if this entry goes to my Facebook as I think it will, GOOD. Because I want people to realize that they what makes the internet such an enticing place for rapists and pedophiles and general sickos. DUH. We wouldn't have these problems with internet pervs if people kept their friend lists limited to people who are their REAL friends.
Ok, so it was a little ranty. But Good Lord, this is ridiculous.
This is probably the most random thing I will ever post.
So today a llama was running around our small town, which I shall call Candy Mountain. You don't know how rare this is. I mean, we don't HAVE llamas here. We have horses, ponies, a few cows in the farmish area, but definitely no llamas. And of all the random animals to pop up in Candy Mountain, it's a freaking llama. That made my LIFE.
So I'm sitting on the bus, reading "All Quiet on the Western Front" to get ahead of my classmates and pwn them, when the sixth-graders (sadly, high school and middle school ride the same buses) start freaking out. I'm thinking someone farted. Which happens a lot. Anyway, my friend Julie said, "That was a really big deer."
For the record, I'm in the south, and deer are quite common. I look up, and running around in circles in front of the Tractor Supply & Co. is a huge thing, which I scream is a llama. Because, sadly, I'm the only one who can identify it. Our bus was in the longest red light EVER, and it ran across the street and went all the way to J.P. Looney's, where someone supposedly tied it up until the owner came.
The owner in question was driving his truck down our main highway when the trailer door opened and the llama fell out. Another friend of mine was on the bus behind him when this happened. He shut the door, thinking the llama was still in there, and everyone on the bus was reported to have shouted that his llama was loose. By the time he understood, it was at McDonald's, where it then proceeded to TSC.
I'm still having trouble getting over this. I've been laughing in the middle of all my classes in dead silence because of this llama. It was the most random thing ever to happen.
Hunter told me I failed because I didn't name the llama. He suggested I call it Leroy. Jame-O and I agreed that Tina was better, because it was kind of a fat lard. But that may have been the curly hair.
In any case, Tina the llama has officially made my life. Not my day, not my week; my LIFE.
- Location:My bed
- Mood:
giggly
But it's not all bad; I've found people I've long lost contact with, so I guess that's cool.
But now I realize how obsessed I am with the internet. Which isn't a good thing. I have an account on fanfiction.net, fictionpress.com, LiveJournal, and Facebook. I also have two separate email addresses on yahoo.com, so I have to constantly sign in and sign out.
But I shouldn't rant.
- Location:Couch. Again.
- Mood: blah
I've finally caved and gotten a LiveJournal. Everyone on fanfiction.net was all, "Get one, get one! It's fun!" So...I got one. Hey, my friends (the ones who don't get on ff.net) were pressuring me to get a Facebook. It was either this or Facebook. I chose LJ.
This isn't really a journal entry, per se. More of me being morbidly curious and testing this doohickey out.
Hasta la vista, I guess.
- Location:Couch
- Mood:
blank
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